Good-Bye Version 2.0

So....this is my last blog post for a while. I need to take some time away from posting on this type of platform, and go back to writing for myself.... in order to just deal with... things, things that I don't have to explain and/or go into great detail about. Personal, nitty gritty things.

I need a break from lots of things in general. I need to get away from my family, but they don't seem to understant that. My dad has been in the hospital for a little over 2 weeks and is expected to be home on Friday; however by the time this goes up he'll more than likely be home.... Which is both good and bad. Good because this means it'll probably be another 2-3 years before his next stint in the hospital, but bad because I know as soon as he gets home nothing will have changed, except his center of gravity.

I need to get out of town, turn off my phone, forget people exist for a weekend. Why? Because my mind is running on overdrive, and I'm an overthinker as it is-which already sucks for me; as do most things but..... And also because I am slowly losing my sanity and people are assholes, well not all people. I also need to get laid and have a really good make out session but that is neither here nor there, maybe I'll put up an ad on Craigslist.

There are things I wish I could say, some of them mean and hurtful, some of them heartfelt, some of them just because. There are questions I wish I could ask, though I already know the answers. There are moments I wish I could rewind and do over, moments I wish I could erase, words I wish I could take back, people I wish I'd never met. But these are all things I can write down in my personal journal. These are the nitty gritty things I don't want to talk about....for fear of simply losing my shit.

This will be the last time I talk about relationships (or relationshits as I've come to call them lately) and my struggles with them, maybe romantic love is dead for me because I have been blessed (which I know is such a cliche term to use but I can't think of a better word) with such an amazing group of friends that love me, and for that reason I don't get a shot at romance (Thank you, Katie for helping me see that). It certainly makes sense. It makes sense as to why every guy I've liked enjoys talking about how attractive EVERY girl he sees is-which makes me feel about an inch tall, but it's not the first time I've felt that way (remember the time a former CEO told me I was a bad person? Yeah...!). Sorry, I'm not strikingly beautiful fellas, blonde and plain is as good (or "meh" as it was once put)as it gets.

So, with all that being said... this is my last blog for a while. I need to write for myself. It's the one thing I can do for myself and myself alone. I mean not that anyone gives a shit about what I have to say these days but, ya know whatever. Anyway, see ya in 2018.